Alex Gay

Hey, I'm Alex!
I'm a somatic and body-based coach specializing in sex, relationships, and feeling confident as your authentic self (in and out of bed).

Who I work with

I work primarily with queers, gay men, and neurodivergent people who want to get out of their head in bed. I can help you understand and explore your desires, and feel more comfortable playing with your kinks.

My approach

My approach is body-based, which means we're not just talking about what's going on, we're working with how it shows up in your nervous system. I enjoy sharing practical tools that actually work when you're feeling anxious in bed. And my clients tend to love the way I explain things with real life experiences and metaphors so we're not stuck talking about things purely conceptually. My somatic coaching bridges the gap between you feeling like "I know what I should do" and actually being able to do it.

I can also work in a triadic model (that's when you have a therapist and me working with you together as a team). In this case, you and I can do more of the touch based work or experience/demonstration work that the therapist cannot do. And with your therapist you focus more on the thoughts and emotions that come up.

As a non-monogamous, kinky, gender non-conforming badass, I am a knowledgeable, nonjudgmental guide who takes your body, your sexuality, and your experiences seriously.

My areas of focus include:

• Sexual confidence and shame
• Intimacy and vulnerability blocks
• Nervous system regulation around sex and connection
• Navigating desire, identity, and relationships as a queer person

Hands on work (in-person or online):

Hands on work means we can stop talking about it, and actually try it out. If you've been wanting to get more comfortable bottoming but you're not sure how to stretch and prep your hole, then I can show you. If you want to learn to properly choke someone, I can show you. If you want to get comfortable just touching or being touched, we can cuddle. Everything at your pace, and never rushed.

Hands on work requires several talk only sessions first to establish trust, safety, and a plan for how we will use the hands on work.

I also must specify, hands on work is for educational purposes only.

Location

Based in San Diego. Available worldwide online or in-person.