CNM

Couples counselling and somatic coaching for polyamorous, non-monogamous, queer, trans, kinky, intercultural, and nontraditional relationships. I offer warm, collaborative support for couples who want to understand one another more deeply, reconnect, and become curious about the wider ecosystem shaping their relationship.

California Telehealth queer and neurodivergent therapist at Total Spectrum Counseling. Neurodiverse affirming, LGBTIA+ welcoming and affirming, kink aware/affirming, poly/CNM aware/affirming. Comfortable and experienced with all aspects of sex and sexuality. I work with individuals, families, and couples/polycules.

ASW #106206 supervised by Brittany Bovee Schwartz, LCSW #62877.

I’m not here to make you less complicated. I’m here to help you become more congruent.

I’m Kristin Warnaca, an intimacy and relationship guide, educator, and contributing author of Embracing Your Eros, where my chapter, “Cult to Kink,” explores my journey from religious sexual shame and control to embodied erotic freedom.

With more than 12,000 client hours, I’ve spent years supporting people in the places where intimacy gets complex, contradictory, and deeply human.

My work is grounded in a simple belief: all of you belongs.

You can be spiritual and erotic. Devoted and free. Tender and powerful. Monogamous, non-monogamous, kinky, questioning, changing, or still figuring out what is true for you.

I’m especially interested in the paradoxes we are taught to resolve by cutting off parts of ourselves—and in helping people build lives and relationships spacious enough to hold more of the truth.

I work with individuals and couples navigating sexuality, kink, religious trauma and deconstruction, consensual non-monogamy, power exchange, 24/7 dynamics, and major shifts in relationship structure. I’m especially skilled at helping people have the conversations they do not know how to have: opening a relationship, changing agreements, exploring desire or power, repairing after rupture, or admitting that the life or relationship that once fit no longer does.

I also provide specialized support for:
- Lifestylers and kinky people who want thoughtful support around relationships, pleasure, power, and the realities of integrating their erotic lives with everyday life.
submissives and Dominants seeking aftercare, integration, or a confidential place to process intense experiences and ongoing power-exchange dynamics.
- Clients working with professional providers who want a kink-aware space to prepare for, debrief, and integrate their experiences.
- ProDommes, sex workers, surrogates, sex coaches, and other erotic professionals who need a confidential, nonjudgmental place to process the emotional, relational, and professional complexity of their work.
- Therapists, counselors, pelvic health professionals, and other practitioners seeking education and consultation around kink, consent, boundaries, power exchange, and ethical non-monogamy.

My approach is warm, grounded, trauma-informed, and shame-free. I care about consent. Honesty. Self-trust... and helping people become more skillful with the freedom they are asking for.

I care deeply about permission: permission to want what you want, to change your mind, to go slowly, to have both boundaries and desire, to be powerful and tender, to be devoted without disappearing, and to be free without abandoning yourself.

My job is not to make you more conventional, or more radical. It is to help you become more congruent: more able to hear yourself, trust yourself, and live what is actually true.

I believe some of the deepest change happens when another person is steady enough to sit with your full range without flinching. When you are not being pathologized, sensationalized, hurried, or recruited into someone else’s version of liberation, you can finally exhale. You can stop performing. And the truth has more room to emerge.

My work is not psychotherapy, psychiatric care, crisis care, or medical treatment, and I do not diagnose or treat mental health conditions. When something falls outside my scope, I believe in thoughtful referrals and collaborative care.

Online sessions are available, along with select in-person sessions and immersive experiences in Oregon.